I’ve never had a religious experience with an Apple product.

I owned a PC and a Treo until 2009. The staff at my company Brain Traffic all use PCs. I don’t make fun of my friends with Androids. And I still don’t own an iPad.   

When news of his death came yesterday, my online community immediately went into deep mourning. Every single tweet in my timeline was about him. The response was overwhelmingly emotional.

I didn’t get it. Me, I was shocked but not saddened. To be perfectly blunt, it seemed like everyone was being overly dramatic about what was a sad but not, like, epic historic event. Of course, I didn’t say this to anyone, because then who’s the ignorant asshole? Me, that’s who.

But after a few hours of nonstop Steve Jobs hashtags, I started clicking links and reading. For the first time, I learned about his life and his leadership. I read personal accounts from colleagues about how his products were the doorway into their careers and passions. Over and over, I read the list of legacies he left behind: the personal computer. Pixar. The iPod. iTunes. The iPhone. The iPad.

Of course, like the rest of the world, I take that stuff for granted. Big time. I don’t even really see my iPhone or MacBook Air anymore. They’re kind of like the glasses I wear every day. I grab them and put them on without thinking about it, first thing in the morning, and I can see. Anything. Everything.

On a recent trip to the bookstore, my son selected a book called “Heroes of the World.” We read about one person every night before bedtime: Gandhi, Edison, Da Vinci. Yesterday, for the first time, I realized that it was missing someone. So last night, instead of reading his book, I read my son an article about Steve Jobs. My son said, “Wow. Why isn’t he in my book?” I said, “He will be.”

We both get it now.

The first blog post I ever read was by this guy I had a crush on. He’d been messing around with it for a few weeks, and he finally sent me a link and was all, “Check this out!”

The post was all about him. He talked about his new bike, what it meant for him as an adult to buy the bike he’d dreamed of as a kid. It was well-written, but it struck me as unbelievably self-indulgent. I walked away from it thinking, “What kind of person writes a blog that’s all about themselves?” He lost serious crush points because of that blog. 

Honestly, even now I read very few blogs that compel me to return. I’ve said forever that I don’t want to add to the noise if I’m not sure I can create an actual signal. But, yeah, I need a blog. There have been too many times I’ve desperately wished for a place to share my thoughts about a certain topic—women at tech conferences, mommy bloggers, owning a small business, being divorced (to name a few)—but obviously haven’t wanted to use the Brain Traffic blog as a platform. 

So I’ll go ahead and practice saying things that are meaningful, here. And all twelve of you can cheer me on. And someday soon, I will write something that I feel OK about posting on Twitter.

In the meantime, you really should listen to that Beyoncé album. No for real.

Also I can’t figure out how to turn on comments, so I’ll imagine you all silently nodding with an empathy in your eyes.

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Artist: Beyoncé
Title: 1+1

This has my vote for Best Slow Dance Song Ever.

O hai! It’s me! Kristina! 

For my birthday, I gave myself a blog. Just started this thing last night, so the template needs work. Don’t judge.

OK! Off to start rockin’ my 40s. Back soon.